Batteries, anyone?

The appliance repair technician pulls into the driveway, stops the truck and gets out without much of a wave or greeting.
This is going to be fun, Daytime Dad thinks to himself.
“Do you have batteries?” Little One asks the repairperson, who was beckoned to fix a washing machine.
The technician looks at Little One as if he just grew a fin before his eyes.
“Batteries, huh,” he says.
“Daddy, he needs batteries to fix washing machine,” Little One responds.
Batteries are to this 3-year-old what Windex was to Gus Portokalos in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”: A remedy for just about anything.
Need to change out a light bulb? Get some batteries. The vacuum cleaner is clogged? Get some batteries. The grill won’t start? Batteries. The dog won’t play? BATTERIES!!
Repairperson is shown the way into the laundry room, where the somewhat-new but now-stubborn Frigidaire sits.
Little One follows. He’s not done yet.
“Why do you need batteries to fix washing machine?” he asks.
“I don’t,” repairperson says.
Daytime Dad knows it’d be best to usher Little One out and let repairperson do his job.
But Daytime Dad also knows that the service call is $85 and we might as well have some fun.
“Do you have batteries in your truck?” Little One asks.
“I do, but not for the washing machine,” repairperson answers.
“Why?”
“Because washing machines don’t go on batteries.”
“Why?”
Repairperson laughs a little — or was it a snort, Daytime Dad isn’t sure — and gets to work.
A popular yet often ineffective ploy, repairperson believes that ignoring a 3-year-old will magically make it all go away.
Clearly, he doesn’t have kids. Predictably, the move is an epic fail.
“Why, daddy,” Little One asks.
“I don’t know, ask him, he’s the expert,” Daytime Dad says.
Daytime Dad laughs but then decides to let repairperson off the hook — hey, he is doing a job and doesn’t need to be distracted.
Daytime Dad and Little One exit the laundry room and head toward the garage.
“Daddy,” Little One says, “Let’s play basketball.”
“OK,” Daytime Dad says, “But let me get the batteries first.”

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